This was enough

I realized I was holding all of it for you.

To somehow remember or not forget.

To somehow prove what was true.

The weight of it was crushing.

The destruction of your behavior, your inability to see or want to see beyond self.

The recklessness of your fragility to protect yourself.

To have power or control where none could ever be had.

The insane need to eradicate me so you could go on.

And so I burned your words.

Your painful twisted annihilating cruel words.

And sat in the destruction you had made.

When all that was love was torn away.

When meaning was lost.

I sat and breathed.

And told myself this was enough.

This breath.

This searing pain.

This numbness.

This destruction.

These beautiful fleeting moments of pure joy.

As I was finally allowed to leave the surface of myself and fall into the depths and beauty of my being.