I realize you are not worthy of me.
I am a creator, a lover, a nurturer.
You are a taker, a player, a deceiver, a manipulator.
You give with one hand and take back with another. Blaming the one you took from so you can feed off the endless drama of the pain you create.
I see only love. You see only yourself, sometimes with a flickering of the other. But you always come back to self, eradicating the other as you do.
A constant deadly game. Not realizing you are destroying the others who are in your path.
And yet you know you are destroying. You scream aloud 'do not trust me, my heart is deceitful.' And yet you are the one setting the trap, luring the other in.
If you are so hellbent on destruction and you see this why do you not step aside? Why do you insist on stepping on others?
Are you so afraid of being hurt that you can only do damage? Are you so afraid of life that you have swallowed your own self up within you?
Showing your beauty and snatching it back just as quickly. Leaving your prey confused and damaged, ruining other's in your wake.
How do you live with this? How can you be so beautiful and so deadly? Maybe you are simply a poisonous snake with the most extraordinary beautiful markings to draw in and warn off.
Are you attracted to the most vulnerable prey? The one's that can easily be destroyed. Is this your delight? Is this what some mean by misery love's company. You bring your misery with you and pull other's down into the whirlpool of it. Drowning them as they get caught by your ingenious web. Your beautiful weaving, your vicious trap.
You have taken all my beautiful words and thrown them back at me as if they were yours. As if you are the most maniacal plagiarizer. Stealing the work and words of others to quickly strip them, lay them bare. 'Stealing beauty.'
I have met you before, many times I think. And I wonder at you. How is it that this is what you have become.
Are you so lost within you self or selves because feeling is too overwhelming, too brutal, too endlessly filled with pain. So you, like a chameleon, cuddle up against another taking on their colors, their beauty. And then, unlike a chameleon, you move away taking the colors and beauty of the other and leaving them with only shades of gray. Their very being stripped away. Because you are unformed, not complete, undeveloped. Always looking for prey to feed from, to make you for a moment, feel whole.
What is missing in you that leaves you this way, so hellbent on destruction? Were you denied nurturing as a babe? Is this why you are working so endlessly to eradicate the mother in all her forms? Is this why you feel so powerless? That now your only way to feel whole is to destroy all that is?